Lately I can't help but feeling kind of...
Overlooked.

And I'm not just saying that because my Devart is kinda lonely.
I mean, I know since I can only get on now and then, its kinda hard to make dev friends and watch people since I dont have time to find new artists. Soo it's kinda hard for people to find me. *shrug*

I guess I just had high expectations senior year, hoping that... I would get more opportunities?

Like, this year softball kinda sucked.
For some reason my batting was off and my coach seemed to loose faith in me. I never stopped trying hard... and I tried to make up for failing offensively by doing my best defensivly. But Getting to pitch was rare. And when I did pitch I wasnt as strong because I hadn't built up the endurance over the year.

And then choir... I was hoping to at least get one solo,
but my voice shakes when I sing without the rest of the ensemble.
I thought I sang strong enough on some songs but my teacher just kinda... forgot.

And I was really confident that I would at least get one scholarship, out of all the ones I applied for. Being 24th in my class seemed like it would be good enough. But maybe I was too confident... maybe I didn't try hard enough. I never took any honors classes because I wanted to stay in softball and choir all 4 years, and I didn't think I could handle the extra work load.
But I went to senior awards night and came back empty handed, trying not to be jealous of the kids who got 3,5, or 6 scholarships.

Soo... now I need a job.
But, with this economy it seems like there's no chance for a high school grad to find one.

Siighh.
I don't mean to be so... unsatisfied?
I just feel like I need...
some recognition.

--And I'm not expecting that from you guys.
I just need to let some stuff out.
Maybe that way I'll be able to get over it and do something worth doing.